2016 was the year that I wanted things to be different.
As ironically cliché as that very statement is, I absolutely meant it as I watched Sydney Harbour light up during those first, few, breathless seconds of the new year. I had always tossed around the idea of starting a blog and now – this year – I swore I would.
I already knew, really, what this blog had to be: a sort of greenhouse for my thoughts, a protective housing that could be seen from the outside but never intruded. But it was more difficult that I thought to come up with actual things to write. The commitment of posting something, something that would turn into endless 1s and 0s the minute I typed that first letter, was indescribably daunting. (I do know I have certain commitment issues so while the thought was scary, it wasn’t exactly surprising.)
The first thing I posted was a poem. I’d never shown my poems to anyone like this before. It was nice; nice to do it behind the anonymity of a laptop screen, anyway. I considered a sprawling introduction post but it seemed too… hi, I’m Emily, I like to write and… (Not that this is any less cheesy, but, well.) So I settled on the poem and was – mildly – content with my choice.
I am somewhat of a perfectionist, which comes hand in hand with my inability to commit to things. Unless I’m sure that a thing is flawless, I don’t want it to be something I’m permanently associated with. Of course, this idea is as ridiculous in reality as it sounds – frankly, it’s impossible to follow. This blog is meant to be my first step in coming to terms with that fact. That probably means that this place will be cluttered with all sorts of nervous ramblings until I learn to become comfortable with the things I produce.
I also do want to add a little sort of disclaimer here. Shockingly, I have opinions on things that happen in the world (“wow, no way”) and sometimes I like to use these as subject matters for prose posts. Or maybe even poetry posts. Either way, I want to make it clear that these are just my opinions. I’m not suggesting that you go do anything with them. Same with analyses and reviews I might have of books I read or movies I watch; they’re no more than opinions. I’m not saying we should all form a cult in honour of my ideas and pelt everyone else with tomatoes. I’m not saying we need to do anything at all – I’m just interested in adding one more bubble of thought to the expanse of the Internet, and little bits and pieces for you to read if you so wish. So please, while I welcome your feedback and discussion, please keep any derogatory or insulting messages to yourself. I’d really appreciate that. It’s taken me a long time to work up the courage to talk about the things on my mind, and while I may not be the most intelligent, logical being on the planet, I like to consider my thoughts as valid and valuable as any other individual’s.
That got kind of serious, so let’s bring this to a close on a lighter note. If you ever want to chat, I love meeting new people, so please don’t hesitate to leave a comment! I also love discovering new blogs and things to read so if you have suggestions (maybe even your own blog!) as to sites I might like to visit, let me know. I’ll probably waste away scrolling obsessively through them for weeks after, but who cares? I’m a Gen Z. Apparently, that’s what we all do anyway. 😉
Thanks for dropping by,